Date: 27/04. Time: 4:31 according to the computer clock. It's not yet time to go home and still there's at least one hour left for me to do my work. Work, you say? Not a very good idea. I've been sitting here at my desk browsing the internet for firewall review, locate a shop that sells Sound Stick III, check coverage of my broadband internet provide, sync bookmarks from my work pc, search for tutorial and introduction to SSH, looking for computer macro software that costs nothing, call a few people from other departments, commenting in forum - just two topics though and the thing that I did the least was the thing I mainly get paid for - work. I'm supposed to be doing my programming to be shown to some user from another department but fuck shit I don't have any willingness to do so. Today is the first day in my current employment I feel "lemau" - a mixture of lethargy, inability to
focus, procrastanation, thinking of something else and just being blur.
I should have gone to bed earlier than 2.xxam (or was it 3.xxam) last night(or morning perhaps?.) But darned my new PC and all the undiscovered tricks, unlocked processor and memory potential, the connection to the information superhighway (does anyone use this ter anymore?) that's amazingly fast
last night, my curiosity to set up tunneling so I can connect remotely to my PC from work. Yes, the last one was the main culprit. My wanting of setting up a secure remote connection to my home PC. The ability to download media by not using office resources(I don't do nor condone this, currently).
The curious side of me takes control again. Yeay! and oh shit! I'm currently working on not so very tight schedule but randomness of other people - namely my prospect system users, my supervisor, my boss and their bosses should they get any revelation from the higher ups; I'll be screwed. Shit
nobody interferes when an engineer build a tower, no one question when a doctor takes his time diagnosing and dispensing out medication by saying "I want to be up and running by tomorrow morning doc, cure my broken leg!" but when it comes to software and other computer related works such as network maintenance, programming, Pc maintenance we(yes, I am sure that most of the IT dudes) receive the same respect given by the pharaohs to the slaves. "I want this system to be up and running by last month". "It must be able to know what I want." "That button should know my mood and change it's colour accordingly." "Use open source tools, they're free." "I've waited for a month and the system is still not done yet?." These are some exaggerated statements very familiar for dudes in the IT field especially programming. Just because our job is to type in language understood by machines, it doesn't mean that it's as easy as typing. Even the cleaning is respected: when she's cleaning, don't get in the way, nobody tell her how to do her job. Ah, enough side tracking about shitty users and little respect received, it's all in a programmers' day.
Now, the real deal. I woke up and it was around 7.38am(lucky it's not later). Perceiving the morning brightness(hey, did I turn off the light last night? If I didn't who did? Or was it on the whole night? Damn I need to repair the door knob; I kicked open my room door last week after realising I've locked myself out. That'll be another story). Dressing up for work is not hard. The hard part is to not look like I didn't take my morning shower and my shirt must not be too crumpled. Forgoing morning shower, coffee, exercise and ironing my shirt I brushed my teeth, get dressed up, replied a SMS (or did I replied it later) and then looking at the time again. Estimating that I will probably be late(my working hours are rigid), I tried to figure out good excuses to give in the system(my office records automatically staffs' arrival time) so that it will not look like I was lying and other reasons.The ideas I'm telling might not be in the order they popped up in my mind; thes are the unordered list.
I was thinking about going to the clinic and tell the doctor I have been vomiting and experiecing stomach cramps and also dizziness; the signs of food poisoning. I can then take the day off, sleep until mid day or as much as I need and then continue setting up my secure connection. See, I'm an idiot who thinks he's good with computer and doesn't realise that in reality I'm an idiot with IQ barely enough to be called a normal human. Then, thinking that I need to set some appointment with user, the cost of the medication, the possibility not getting MC but still end up paying the doctor, I ditched the idea. Another idea was telling my friend was sick and I need to send him to the clinic. Then again, being friends with young males, it's hard to make people believe how sick your friend was that you need to send him to the clinic. Plus, I would be lying about driving someone else's car, having a sick friend and having any friend at all. So the idea goes down wherever ditched ideas go. I was also contemplating the idea telling that I went to the clinic. But then, I would need to get a time slip and the keyword here is PAY. 20 or 30 ringgit for a few rushed minutes going to work? The scrooge in me didn't like that. Then as I was heading to the LRT station, I looked at the time. If I can get
to my destination before 8.20 am, I might have the luck of taking the bus or if worse come worse I can just hail a cab and it only costs around 5 ringgit. I was pretty lucky today. Upon arriving at my station, the bus arrived in a few seconds and judging by the time, I could make it to the office in time. As the bus was approaching, I looked at the number. It as U23 and it was my ride. In the end, I managed to clock in at 8.27 am. Saved!!!!!!
Today most of my colleague in the same unit including my supervisor and my immediate boss had to go for a workshop. Meaning nobody(or rather not many body) will be looking at me during working hours. Another lucky thing the bosses meeting is cancelled this week: my deparment head won't be pressured to get it done and I'll have more time to tinker with the programming and enhancement(i don't think including necessary feature can be called enhancement) the system. Though the sistem is small, I've not been programming for almost 3 years and now I kinda slow in typing and thinking the logic. Shit, dah out of shape. Not many people around, more time, oh another thing was
my supervisor told me I don't need to attend a meeting today(which I was thinking as a way to go back early since it's an out of office meeting). Nevertheless the situation was ripe for me to "mengular". So after a breakfast of Malay cakes and Mountain Dew - breakfast fit for a champion, I set to work. I wasn't really able to get many things done since like I mention, I was lemau but still some stuff gets done. Since most of my office buddies were busy, I ended up buying packed lunch from the cafeteria downstairs. That's where something happened. Before heading to the cafeteria, I went to the room where my colleagues were having a workshop with the intention of having free lunch and not having to walk under the hot blazing afternoon sun (was it sunny today? I don't know).
Post lunch what I did most of the time was surfing the internet and then compose this shitty post. The end.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
A Close Miss
At first it seems real. Like the real thing. Almost cost me my darn expensive emotions and of course other resources such as time. I nearly fell hard for the second time.
The second encounter clears everything out. It was just a mistake. Mistaken you for somebody else. Saw you in a different angle. Almost like seeing through time-based filter that goes back a few years. Thank god it wasn't real.
Now that has passed and I'm emotionally stable, well not really because now things seems to be going smooth and I'm very happy with my working life. Maybe it's just a temporary kick from the serotonin shots my body is giving, but hey since it's good and not damaging(I hope) let's savor it while it last.
Ahhh things are going good. I just need to be able at least to go through if things get murky. Adieu~
The second encounter clears everything out. It was just a mistake. Mistaken you for somebody else. Saw you in a different angle. Almost like seeing through time-based filter that goes back a few years. Thank god it wasn't real.
Now that has passed and I'm emotionally stable, well not really because now things seems to be going smooth and I'm very happy with my working life. Maybe it's just a temporary kick from the serotonin shots my body is giving, but hey since it's good and not damaging(I hope) let's savor it while it last.
Ahhh things are going good. I just need to be able at least to go through if things get murky. Adieu~
Monday, April 4, 2011
Save The Kids
It's already happened a few times in my life. But the one incident that struck me hard right into my heart happened last year. It was a usual day to begin. I went out for dinner after work at a restaurant nearby. Then it happened. A kid, wearing a collared t-shirt with pants and songkok came and asked for donation. He said it was for the orphans and disadvantaged kids. I declined since I doubt the money given will not be used for the noble purpose he mentioned. Then he left. That boy reminded me of my own little brother. His physique resembled him very closely. Though the face looks different, but the way he talks, his body size and his age was very close to that of my little brother. I'm not that close with my siblings but my little brother is the youngest among the four of us, so it was natural for everyone in the family to be close and liked him very much. I felt guilty not giving at least some money to that kid earlier. After that, when I was on my way home, I spotted that kid at a public phone booth. I parked my motorcycle and approached him. I asked him about which madrasah he was from, his age and how the begging for donations work. I gave him a some money and went back without the guilt that I had earlier. Once, in a different incident I even asked for the number of the school he was from, from the kid that begged for donation. I felt like helping these kids. I'm not that altruistic kind of person and not really fond of children myself but seeing kids begging while I'm comfortably sitting having food on the table really made me sad and angry and kind of depressed.
My main issue here is not about guilt nor being altruistic, but about my anger towards the people who made these kids beg. Most of the time these kids will beg around eateries, walking from table to table asking for donation from people they met. Usually this happens after sundown, during night hours. There are a few issues that I'm really pissed off and it was a coincidence a kid just asked me for donation when I was having dinner. Not wanting to wait until my anger quell, I decided to make this entry. The first issue is the responsibility of a guardian. The teachers, ustaz, or whomever that is taking care of these kids is to at least match the quality of care provided by parents. The good kind of parents of course, not the kind that abuse and neglect their children. Some of the basic needs of children are shelter, food, education and guidance from their parents or guardian. What kind of guardian makes their kids for their own food. For fuck sake if you really want to take care of orphans, the disadvantaged kids please by all means, do it. It's a noble thing to do and not many are willing to do it but do it FUCKING PROPERLY. Yes, some kids learn trade at tender age but what do they learn by walking around at night begging from strangers? Do you want to show them that life is fucking hard, that you have nobody else in this world and those people outside there doesn't care about you because they don't donate? Yes, I admit that not everybody got it smooth in life but for FUCK SAKE be responsible. What can they learn at such age from begging? If you want to teach them the art of trade be it farming, business or computer programming do it like a parent would do. What kind of parent make their kids pay for their own food and shelter? I wonder if the money from these begging trips also goes to those who "takes care" of them. If it does, that you people who do that are taking advantage from these orphans and poor kids are you are worst than a sweatshop owner employing underage kids. If you happen to really love kids and wanted to protect them, GET THE FUCKING MONEY YOURSELF! Making kids beg IS NOT a good idea. These are the reason why.
Kids needs to learn, to play with their peers, socialize, and need rest. What would happen to their growth if they spend the night from sundown until midnight walking around begging? How could they go to bed early and get a good night sleep, to get enough rest, to recharge for the next day? Do you think these kids can grow up properly if they don't get enough rest? How would the be able to learn, to understand, to absorb what they learn during the day? When would they find the time to revise what they've learned? To add to these, a lot of these kids are from religious school or madrasah and their load from learning if far more than a kid going to the normal school? Do you expect these kids to memorize all the hadith, the Koran, all that Sirah and other subjects they learn if they goes to school tired from not having enough sleep because the spent the night before begging? FUCK YOU! You make it hard for these kids to learn. Education is a big part in growing up, there's no way to make up for time passed. Time passed learning is good but time passed wandering around begging for donation is NOT a good thing. What would they become if they don't get good education after spending a lot of time too tired during the day to learn and spend the night begging? Think about the future of these kids. You adults don't really have much more time left on earth but these kids, God willing have more years to come and if after their schooling years they don't have a good education, what will become of them? You probably would've already kicked the bucket at that time, leaving these kids unprepared, unequipped to face the harsh reality and carry out their responsibilities.
Then there's the safety issue. Yes, these kids walks in well lit establishments and only at certain hours. But hey, they are young, defenseless and happens to carry some amount of cash. I'm not sure if any thieve have thought about robbing these kids of their money. Then again, do you want to risk that to happen. Crime rate is, sadly not that low in this part of the world and crime happens and they do not discriminate whether the victim is an orphan or poor. When that happens, what the fuck can you say? If money is that is lost due to these kids getting robbed than that's it. What if the kid was harmed in any way? What if they're injured? What if the injury is permanent? What if the kid died? Who the fuck will take responsibility? What more can you say? Sorry, shit happens? A parent(a good one of course) will on in their clear mind put their children in such a big risk. Please FUCKING THINK! They are kids, they need to be protected from the dangers of the world, to be prepared to face the world when they are old enough, not to be thrown away to face the such dangers.Who in their sane mind would teach kids to BEG? Are you DUMB?
Remember, you are taking care of the orphans and poor kids. Don't take advantage of them. No parent would do so. If you sincerely want to raise them, do it as if you are their real parent, not a sweatshop owner that uses child labor, treat them badly and neglect their safety for personal gain. Never ever mask your ugly intentions with such noble cause. Just because these kids are defenseless, having no one to protect them (or else their parent won't let this kind of thing happens), you can use them to make money. Such a shitty excuse. You really ruin things for people who genuinely care and raise these kids with everything they can provide. Don't bother to take care of kids if you just want to make them beg. They deserve better than that. Their lives is already hard to begin with and don't you go screw it for them.
One thing that bothers me about this: do these kids have some sort of "quota" of amount they should achieve on every round of begging? If they do, what happens if they don't get the said quota? Will they get punished? This thought alone is really worrisome. Not only they are far from any relatives, made to beg and punished if they don't get the targeted amount of money. If they do, then these people are just like an abusive parents. They make the kids earn money and then punish them for not getting enough. I understand the fact that parents sometimes pressure their kids to perform in certain situations such as academics, sports or maybe ballet dancing but expecting these kids to reach a target amount of begging? That's a bit on the psycho side. Screw you people who made these kids beg for their own food. I hope your place got raided and you get sent to jail for good and these kids are saved from being enslaved by people who don't know a fucking thing about raising kids but pretend to take care of them when what you really do is nothing different from an organized crime.
My main issue here is not about guilt nor being altruistic, but about my anger towards the people who made these kids beg. Most of the time these kids will beg around eateries, walking from table to table asking for donation from people they met. Usually this happens after sundown, during night hours. There are a few issues that I'm really pissed off and it was a coincidence a kid just asked me for donation when I was having dinner. Not wanting to wait until my anger quell, I decided to make this entry. The first issue is the responsibility of a guardian. The teachers, ustaz, or whomever that is taking care of these kids is to at least match the quality of care provided by parents. The good kind of parents of course, not the kind that abuse and neglect their children. Some of the basic needs of children are shelter, food, education and guidance from their parents or guardian. What kind of guardian makes their kids for their own food. For fuck sake if you really want to take care of orphans, the disadvantaged kids please by all means, do it. It's a noble thing to do and not many are willing to do it but do it FUCKING PROPERLY. Yes, some kids learn trade at tender age but what do they learn by walking around at night begging from strangers? Do you want to show them that life is fucking hard, that you have nobody else in this world and those people outside there doesn't care about you because they don't donate? Yes, I admit that not everybody got it smooth in life but for FUCK SAKE be responsible. What can they learn at such age from begging? If you want to teach them the art of trade be it farming, business or computer programming do it like a parent would do. What kind of parent make their kids pay for their own food and shelter? I wonder if the money from these begging trips also goes to those who "takes care" of them. If it does, that you people who do that are taking advantage from these orphans and poor kids are you are worst than a sweatshop owner employing underage kids. If you happen to really love kids and wanted to protect them, GET THE FUCKING MONEY YOURSELF! Making kids beg IS NOT a good idea. These are the reason why.
Kids needs to learn, to play with their peers, socialize, and need rest. What would happen to their growth if they spend the night from sundown until midnight walking around begging? How could they go to bed early and get a good night sleep, to get enough rest, to recharge for the next day? Do you think these kids can grow up properly if they don't get enough rest? How would the be able to learn, to understand, to absorb what they learn during the day? When would they find the time to revise what they've learned? To add to these, a lot of these kids are from religious school or madrasah and their load from learning if far more than a kid going to the normal school? Do you expect these kids to memorize all the hadith, the Koran, all that Sirah and other subjects they learn if they goes to school tired from not having enough sleep because the spent the night before begging? FUCK YOU! You make it hard for these kids to learn. Education is a big part in growing up, there's no way to make up for time passed. Time passed learning is good but time passed wandering around begging for donation is NOT a good thing. What would they become if they don't get good education after spending a lot of time too tired during the day to learn and spend the night begging? Think about the future of these kids. You adults don't really have much more time left on earth but these kids, God willing have more years to come and if after their schooling years they don't have a good education, what will become of them? You probably would've already kicked the bucket at that time, leaving these kids unprepared, unequipped to face the harsh reality and carry out their responsibilities.
Then there's the safety issue. Yes, these kids walks in well lit establishments and only at certain hours. But hey, they are young, defenseless and happens to carry some amount of cash. I'm not sure if any thieve have thought about robbing these kids of their money. Then again, do you want to risk that to happen. Crime rate is, sadly not that low in this part of the world and crime happens and they do not discriminate whether the victim is an orphan or poor. When that happens, what the fuck can you say? If money is that is lost due to these kids getting robbed than that's it. What if the kid was harmed in any way? What if they're injured? What if the injury is permanent? What if the kid died? Who the fuck will take responsibility? What more can you say? Sorry, shit happens? A parent(a good one of course) will on in their clear mind put their children in such a big risk. Please FUCKING THINK! They are kids, they need to be protected from the dangers of the world, to be prepared to face the world when they are old enough, not to be thrown away to face the such dangers.Who in their sane mind would teach kids to BEG? Are you DUMB?
Remember, you are taking care of the orphans and poor kids. Don't take advantage of them. No parent would do so. If you sincerely want to raise them, do it as if you are their real parent, not a sweatshop owner that uses child labor, treat them badly and neglect their safety for personal gain. Never ever mask your ugly intentions with such noble cause. Just because these kids are defenseless, having no one to protect them (or else their parent won't let this kind of thing happens), you can use them to make money. Such a shitty excuse. You really ruin things for people who genuinely care and raise these kids with everything they can provide. Don't bother to take care of kids if you just want to make them beg. They deserve better than that. Their lives is already hard to begin with and don't you go screw it for them.
One thing that bothers me about this: do these kids have some sort of "quota" of amount they should achieve on every round of begging? If they do, what happens if they don't get the said quota? Will they get punished? This thought alone is really worrisome. Not only they are far from any relatives, made to beg and punished if they don't get the targeted amount of money. If they do, then these people are just like an abusive parents. They make the kids earn money and then punish them for not getting enough. I understand the fact that parents sometimes pressure their kids to perform in certain situations such as academics, sports or maybe ballet dancing but expecting these kids to reach a target amount of begging? That's a bit on the psycho side. Screw you people who made these kids beg for their own food. I hope your place got raided and you get sent to jail for good and these kids are saved from being enslaved by people who don't know a fucking thing about raising kids but pretend to take care of them when what you really do is nothing different from an organized crime.
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